Cancer Free!

Monday started off being a rough day. Now that she's finished with chemo, Sara's oncologist ordered CT scans of her chest and abdomen to make sure the cancer is gone. When we arrived at the hospital, I noticed that everything about the radiology department seemed dark -- the lights in the waiting room were dim and the nurses' scrubs were gray. I sat in an uncomfortable chair outside of the women's dressing room as Sara disappeared behind the door to disrobe, put on a (dark colored) hospital gown, and headed back to the scanner. I pretended that I wasn't worried, but I was. Sara pretended too. A half hour later Sara returned, dressed and ready to go. Quickly. We had to get out of there.

Several agonizing hours later, I arrived home from work to find my girls playing in the kitchen. Sara was obviously trying to stay occupied. We didn't mention what was on our minds. No word yet from the doctor.

And then we saw the red light blinking on the answering machine. Sara missed the call a half hour earlier. Before I could even process the enormity of what we were about to hear, Sara hit the button and we heard the best news any family touched by cancer could hear -- "It's Dr. Merkel. Good news. The scans are perfectly clean. Have a good night." Oh. My. God.

Sara shrieked. I screamed. We both lost it and cried. Big tears of relief and joy. Awesome!

So now Sara awaits her reconstructive surgery tomorrow (Dec 23) and the radiation that will start in January. She is excited, energized and ready to move on.

I read a quote somewhere that "Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference." I believe in the deepest place in my heart that Sara's positive outlook throughout this whole ride allowed us to get to this point where she is cancer free! Way to go, honey! And thank you.

Happy and healthy new year to everyone.

Brian

P.S. The picture above is the cover of the Kellogg Cancer Center's 2010 Annual Report. My beautiful wife is on the cover! If that's not inspirational, I don't know what is!

Last Day of Chemo!

Well, she did it! Today, Sara made it through her final chemo infusion. I am so proud of her. Our feelings can be summed up by the words on her celebratory cake (see photo). This has been the most difficult time in our lives, and there's still a long way to go, but today was a huge milestone. Sara has kept plugging along, even when she didn't feel like it. It took incredible strength to admit, from time to time, that she couldn't put on the happy face we're all so accustomed to seeing, and instead hide in our bed under the blanket. She has shown us all a bravery that we can't completely understand, yet leaves us in awe. You are amazing, Sara. You're an inspiration to us all.

We stood today in the treatment room at the Kellogg Cancer Center looking out the window at the snow on the trees. We both got choked up at where we are, and where we've been. Back in June, we walked into that same treatment room and looked out that same window and cried because we were beginning the chemo journey. We were so scared. It was extremely emotional and daunting with the first infusion about to begin. Today, it was equally emotional, albeit more positive, because the final infusion was over and this chapter is now closed. We hugged, took a deep breath, and walked out together holding hands. We went out for a special lunch and talked for two hours with no distractions. As Sara so aptly put it, it was "incredibly indulgent." Well, honey, you deserve it, and SO much more! Today was just the beginning of all good things to come!

The ride continues later this month (on December 23rd) when Sara will have her reconstructive surgery. She'll take it easy through the New Year and in early January will begin radiation. Step by step. That's the only way we can do it.

To our families and friends who have helped us get this far, we love you more than words can express. Please don't stop what you're doing because it's perfect. To Sara's talented nurses and doctors, thank you for being so smart, dedicated, and compassionate. You have made the surgeries, infusions and tests bearable and you helped us survive. We have known since the beginning that we were in the best hands.

I'll update again after Sara's surgery later this month. Until then, keep toasting to good health enjoy every minute of life.

Brian

November 2010 Update

Hello everyone. It's been a while since I've updated "Supporting Sara" and now just seems like a good time to do so. After a few rough weeks with Sara's chemo, we got some (much needed) good news yesterday when Sara's blood counts normalized. Not to brag or anything, but after getting shots three days in a row my wife's white blood cell counts might be better than all of ours combined! (I did marry her for her neutrophils, ya know). She needed the shots because her white count dropped extremely low. In fact, the oncologist sent Sara to the emergency room last Monday night after she spiked a fever. We spent (a lovely) 5 hours at the hospital while Sara got an IV antibiotic infusion. Thank god Nana and Aunt Kitty were at home with the girls so we could strictly focus on Sara.

Speaking of our support network, we cannot thank everyone enough for all you are doing. For fear of inadvertently leaving anyone out, I won't single you out. Please just know that Sara and I know how fortunate we are to have such incredible family and friends who watch out for us and take care of us.

So the plan now is for Sara to resume her weekly chemo sessions. She's got seven left and hopefully she won't have to take any more breaks. After that, she'll have her reconstruction surgery (swap out the tissue expanders for real implants). Radiation will follow. It seems like a lot -- because it is -- but Sara has come so far. We're closer to the end of treatment than the beginning, so we try to focus on that.

Liza and Margo are doing great! Margo loves being a big sister and wants to help with Liza all the time. Liza is starting to sleep a little bit more (as of one week ago), but she still gets up every three or four hours. Caffeine is certainly our best friend these days! (On a recent trip to the grocery store I actually bought 6 bags of coffee and nothing else. I got some strange looks, for sure).

Ok, that's it for now. I'll try to update again in a few weeks as we get even closer to the end of treatment . . . and the big celebration that will follow.

Brian

The Baby's Here!

We are so proud to introduce everyone to the newest member of our family -- Liza Kate Lewis was born last night at 6:57 weighing 5 lbs 7 oz and stretching 18.5 inches. She's such a little peanut. And she's perfectly HEALTHY! Sara feels strong and is doing great. I'm so thankful that my girls are ok and that our family is complete. Wow.

Liza gets her middle name from my dad's mom, Kate Lewis. My grandma was so strong and truly was the matriarch of the Lewis family. She took care of everyone(grandchildren, cousins, etc.) and always made sure that we were ok. Liza started making sure Sara was ok long before yesterday. This pregnancy brought Sara's cancer out to a place where it could be found early. Then, Liza made it through some tough weeks when Sara started her chemo. Despite all that, she literally came into this world smiling. "Kate" just seems like the perfect middle name for the little baby who watched out for her mommy before coming into this world, was strong enough to endure a tough pregnancy, and smiled when we met her.

Thank you to all of you for helping us get this far. Your support, well-wishes and love gave us the additional strength we genuinely needed. Sara's battle is not over, obviously, but we know she'll be ok. We'll just tackle the remaining 5 months of treatment as we did the past 3. The only difference is that we're now a family of four!

The baby turned!!!

No more breech! Thank god!

Closing Ceremonies of Susan G. Komen 3-Day Walk

Sara and I talked tonight about the good things that happened to us this summer. We were able to come up with several without much effort. Despite all that's happened, there we were standing in the kitchen smiling as we remembered the happy times from the last few months. While this wouldn't be a summer to repeat if we had the choice, we did actually manage to enjoy ourselves. Pretty cool.

At the top of the list was the Susan G. Komen 3-Day Walk. The whole weekend -- from the opening ceremonies, to my 16 mile walk with Deborah on Saturday, to the closing ceremonies at Soldier Field on Sunday -- was emotional and inspiring. The weekend was a big milestone for us and now that it is over, we can begin focusing on the home stretch.

Just briefly, Sunday's experience was very special. We changed into our pink shirts and filled the car with our signs and other gear. As we got close to Soldier Field we saw the line of walkers getting close to the finish line. (Kleenex moment #1). After we parked, we saw hundreds of people waiting on the lawn for the ceremony to begin. Families were having picnics, listening to music, and clapping for the walkers. Everyone was waiting for, among other things, the big moment the walkers would approach the stage and hold up a shoe to salute the brave people fighting breast cancer. (Kleenex moment #2). Then we saw Deborah. I can't adequately put into words what I felt when she embraced Sara and Margo, so let's just call that Kleenex moments #3 through #100!

Eventually it came time for Sara to walk out on stage with Deborah. I saw them holding hands and crying. Then I heard Margo atop my shoulders say, "There's mommy!" I went numb. That was the moment when this event, Sara's battle, and the love all around us broke me. Everything went silent for (what felt like) a minute as I thought about the enormity of what we've been through and how thankful I am to have my two smiling girls with me. The adrenaline of that moment was the most intense I've ever felt. I flipped Margo off my shoulders and gave her an enormous bear hug. I'm surprised I didn't crush her! I engulfed Sara with a similar hug when she returned from the stage. I hope these pictures that I've attached give you a sense of the emotion from that amazing day.

And now we can strictly focus on the baby for the next few weeks. The induction has been changed to August 23. Everything's fine -- the doctors just don't think we should wait that extra week. Sara's fourth round of chemo (which was supposed to be today) was postponed so that she can be strong on the 23rd (and before). The baby can come at any point now, so we are packing Sara's bag tonight and putting it by the door. (Doesn't that just conjure up the image of 70's sitcoms where the very pregnant wife wakes her husband asking for water and before she can ask he's out the door in his boxers, suitcase in hand, wife at home getting her own water?!). Yep, that'll be me.

Anyway, hopefully my next post will be from the hospital on the 23rd. With any luck I'll be wearing more than just my boxers.

Brian

Kick Off of The 3-Day Cancer Walk

This morning was amazing. Incredibly emotional. We got out of bed at 5:30, woke Margo and headed over to Northbrook Court for the opening ceremonies of the 3 Day Cancer Walk. Several thousand walkers and supporters were already there. We were completely blown away. Our families and some special friends were also there waiting to hug, kiss and support us. I can't adequately express the flood of emotions that overwhelmed us at that moment. I've even got tears in my eyes right now as I look at the pictures and write this post.

Our cousin Deborah (hugging Sara and Margo in the picture) is officially the highest fundraiser for the Chicago Walk. She raised just over $25,000 with all of your help. (I know we've said it so many times but again, THANK YOU!). To recognize that accomplishment the Walk organizers asked her to carry the "Friendship" flag today and on Sunday during the closing ceremonies. She will also get to sleep in the "fancy" New Balance tent tonight and tomorrow at the campground. (She'll have an air mattress, pillow and a light -- never before did that seem "first class" but for this 60-mile walk, it certainly is!).

We'll stop at a cheering station later this morning to see Deborah and tomorrow I'll be meeting up with her to walk 15 miles (just like our training session a few weeks ago). On Sunday a big contingent of the Lewis and Fishman clans (and friends) will go to Soldier Field at 4:30 to watch the walkers enter the stadium and achieve their goal. We'll also cheer for Sara who will be up on stage fulfilling one of her many goals -- successfully fighting this disease while growing our baby! If anyone wants to come along, we'd absolutely love it. It will, without a doubt, be an emotionally-inspiring afternoon.

After the weekend we'll be one step closer to baby! Oh, speaking of the baby, you can mark your calendars for August 30! That's the date the doctors will induce. And by the way, if you can think of good-luck tricks (knocking on wood, rubbing two sticks together, throwing salt over your shoulder, etc.) that might encourage the baby to turn around from the breech position in the next 3 weeks, go ahead and do them. We'll take any help we can get at this point!

That's it for now. I'll post again over the weekend.

xoxo,
Brian

End of July Update

Hi everyone. Tomorrow's another chemo infusion and we wanted to give a brief update beforehand. Sara is in the sweet spot of her infusion schedule because she feels best just before it's time to go back. We had a really nice week with Sara feeling strong both mentally and physically. We had two big family dinners - just because. It really was nice and we had a fantastic time.

You may have seen us wearing our new pink bracelets this week. I decided that instead of wearing a yellow "Live Strong" bracelet or a nondescript pink one with no message, we should have a special message on ours. Ours say "Supporting Sara" and I thought it was just one more way to announce what's on our minds and what we are doing these days.

The 3-Day Walk is rapidly approaching and our cousin Deborah is walking her tushy off . . . literally. She has been logging countless miles each week in anticipation of the 60 mile trek. I joined her last weekend for a big walk (15 miles) and I'm happy to say she put me to shame! We walked the Green Bay Trail from the Braeside train station in Highland Park to the Baha'i Temple in Wilmette (and back) in 4 hours. After 3 hours my feet were throbbing and my hips were screaming. Deborah, on the other hand, was pain-free and walking as effortlessly at that point as she was when we started. We talked about everything (it WAS a 4 hour walk!), but it all kept coming back to Sara. Regardless of the topic, we both had in the back of our heads the important reason we were out there in the first place.

By now you all probably know that Deborah has raised $25,000 (that's not a misprint) for the cause and is the highest fund-raiser to date out of the nearly 3000 people doing the Chicago walk. To acknowledge this accomplishment, the organizers asked her to carry the "Friendship" flag in the opening and closing ceremonies. We cannot adequately express how thankful we are for Deborah's and your support. Sara and I are literally brought to tears on a weekly, if not daily, basis by how you have all become a part of our journey. "Thank you" just doesn't seem enough, but please let it be our start.

The 3-Day Walk kicks off on Friday August 6 at 6:30 a.m. at Northbrook Court. We'll be there to send Deborah off in style. We don't expect any of you to be there, but when your alarms go off that morning, just pause for a minute to look at your bracelets and think about the monumental walk that is beginning. When your weekend is winding down two days later, think about the fact that all the participants will just be finishing. We'll be at Soldier Field (crying I'm sure) at 4:30 as Deborah walks in and takes her honorary position on stage (with Sara, hopefully) to close out the event. It's going to be an amazing weekend.

Ok, that's it for now. We look forward to seeing you all soon.

Brian

4th of July Update

Hi everyone. We hope you've have a fun holiday weekend. Ours was great -- Sara felt good and we were able to be out and about. Margo and I went swimming several times and Sara tried to stay cool by dangling her feet in the water (being 7 + months pregnant in 90 degree heat doesn't look easy!). We also went to the Highland Park parade and a fantastic picnic with our families. Margo continues to loooooove any type of dessert she can get her little hands on. Ice cream, though, seems to be her current favorite. Go figure.

We haven't posted since the first chemo treatment so we thought it was time for a catch-up. The anti-nausea drugs and steroids really worked to subdue the side effects from the infusion until Day 3. That Friday she felt awful (nauseous and fatigued) and spent the day in bed. Saturday she just felt tired, but Sunday brought a repeat of Friday's nausea. By Monday, though, she felt pretty good again and has basically been feeling that way since. The doctors are going to make a few adjustments which will hopefully help Sara feel better over days 3, 4 and 5 post-infusion. Tomorrow is round 2 of "Chemo Tuesday," which means that we will only be two more infusions away from having the baby!

We made it through another big milestone a few days ago when Sara's hair began falling out. On Wednesday night we had an appointment with the guys who made her a wig and they shaved her head clean. It was emotional of course, but Sara handled it amazingly well. I kept reminding her to keep her eye on the prize -- being cancer-free -- and that losing her hair is just a temporary side effect. Her hair is just taking a little vacation while the chemo drugs do their work. And no offense to my wife, but those beautiful blonde waves that used to rest on her shoulders look NOTHING like the dark brown stubble that remains on her dome! And I thought she was a natural blondie! :) One last comment about the hair -- Sara has a perfectly-shaped head! It's small, round, smooth, and just so much fun to rub. (Note: I'm absolutely the only one who gets to enjoy that privilege. If anyone so much as thinks about reaching for her head, you won't be happy!). We haven't yet shown Margo Sara's bare head so as not to freak her out. For now Sara's been wearing different things to cover up.

Many of you have been asking about the meal calendar. We were holding off on adding new dates until we had a better idea of when we would need the help. We just added a bunch of dates around the chemo treatments and the birth. Please contact Laurie if you have any questions about the calendar. Again, thank you for helping us out in this way. It made a big difference over the last few weeks when Sara wasn't feeling well. Figuring out dinners was just one less thing to have to think about.

Finally, when you see Sara you will notice that she's not hugging and kissing as she usually does. Her oncologist said to do everything possible to avoid getting sick since her immunity is low. It seems a little strange at first to wave or blow kisses, but please understand that it's for an important reason. This too shall pass, but in the meantime, feel free to hug and kiss ME instead!

Have a great week and I'll update again soon. Here's to good health!

Brian

"Chemo Tuesday" Part 1

She did it! Sara made it through her first chemo session today and did fantastic! We're home now and will be calling it a night soon. It's been a long day.

We went to the Kellogg Cancer Center at Highland Park Hospital at 10 this morning and after short meetings/exams with the head nurse (Diane) and Dr. Merkel (the oncologist), we went down the hall to a private treatment room. Another nurse (Dena) then took over and began the long-feared infusions. Sara's port in her right arm was still sore so the insertion of the IV was uncomfortable, but everything that followed went smoothly. Over the course of about an hour and a half Sara received an anti-nausea drug, steroid, and two chemo drugs - one of which is affectionately referred to as "the red devil." That specific drug is the one that will beat the crap out of any frisky cancer cells that may have escaped the mastectomy and lymph node dissection a few weeks ago. It will also make her hair fall out in precisely 17 days, just before the Fourth of July weekend. (It's pretty amazing that they know the exact timing of that side effect!).

Sara's on a strict regime of anti-nausea drugs and steroids for the next three days which will hopefully keep her feeling ok. Supposedly, days 3-5 after the infusion are when the fatigue might set in. She's doing well so far so we'll see about that!

We've got a three-week break before the next infusion on July 6. Before then, Sara will see the OB's who will begin strict monitoring of the baby's growth and vital signs.

That's it for now. Have a good night, everybody.

Brian

P.S. the picture above is Sara at 26 weeks, about 10 days ago.

Upcoming Schedule

Hi everyone. We hope you've had a nice weekend. We started off ours back at Evanston Hospital for the placement of Sara's port. This device in her arm will allow easy and repeated access for blood draws, IV's and chemotherapy infusions. It was a little weird to be back at ambulatory surgery so soon after the mastectomy -- same waiting room, same nurses, etc. Regardless, the procedure was quick and relatively easy and we were home within 4 hours. Sara was sore that first day, but feels much better now, everything considered.

The chemo schedule has been set in place. The first infusion will be on Tuesday June 15 and the next three sessions will then follow in three-week intervals. The plan is for the last infusion (of this first phase) to be on August 17 and then the OB's will induce the delivery about 10 days later. All of this, of course, is subject to change, but right now there's no reason to think it will. (Sara will be 37 weeks pregnant at that time).

Once our baby arrives, Sara will then begin phase 2 of her chemotherapy which will take us out to approximately the end of November. Radiation will then begin after a short recovery period.

Yep, it IS a lot. However, we are just going to focus on what's directly in front of us rather than on the whole picture. It's all about taking it one small step at a time.

Thank you to everyone who has helped us out with meals. It was much more of a help than we could have imagined! (By the way, Sara has actually gained 3 pounds and Margo now asks for dessert after every meal . . . breakfast included!). We will begin posting some additional dates on the meal calendar to coincide with Sara's chemo treatments. We just need to get a sense of which days will be the most helpful.

Please keep Sara and the baby in your thoughts. When you have your next glass of wine (or something stronger) give a hearty toast to good health!

Brian

Weekend Update

We can't believe a week ago today Sara was just coming out of surgery! What a week it's been . . .

First, Sara's doing great. She started out with a lot of pain but was able to quickly stop taking the pain medication. By Wednesday she was taking nothing but an antibiotic. We spent the rest of the week and the weekend just laying low. Sara was actually able to sleep despite having to be propped up on 3 or 4 big pillows. (She hated me for waking her up every six hours to take her medication, but that's what the bottle says and I like to follow the rules!). She was even able to go for a few short walks outside to breathe in the fresh air.

On Friday we were on pins and needles all day waiting for the pathology results to come back. We expected a call before 9 a.m. but it didn't come until 4 :30. The news was pretty good -- a few more lymph nodes contained cancerous cells than we had hoped, but it certainly could have been worse. Overall, the treatment plan will probably be the same as the doctors previously thought.

Tomorrow is a big day as we are going back to the hospital for several follow up appointments -- the surgeon, plastic surgeon, maternal-fetal medicine, and the oncologist. We anticipate that tomorrow will be the day the doctors come up with a final plan for the chemotherapy and the anticipated delivery date of Margo's brother or sister.

Margo had a good week despite everything that's going on. She knows that mama has a "boo boo" and seems satisfied with that explanation. We made sure to keep her busy with lots of help from our incredible support network of family and friends.

Again, we want to thank you all for the flowers, food, cards, gifts, texts and emails that flooded in this week. We appreciate all your love.

We hope everyone had a great holiday weekend. We'll update again soon.

Brian

Sara's Home!

She did it! We got home around 11:30 this morning and Sara's resting comfortably in our own bed. I'm so proud of her for getting over this first (huge) hurdle. The last three days were draining to say the least, but everything went very well. Actually, the doctors were ready to discharge her yesterday, but her pain level increased in the late afternoon so they decided to keep her for another night of monitoring. The last thing we did before leaving today was listen to the baby's heartbeat (again). It was perfect!

Love you all,
Brian

Surgery Update

Ok, a big sigh of relief! Sara's surgeon came out after 3 hours and told me that everything was fine. Sara (and the baby) did great and now the plastic surgeon is finishing up his part of the procedure. Sara will be in recovery for at least an hour, but probably longer. Then they'll transfer her to the women's hospital (rather than a regular post-surgical floor) for a little extra monitoring.

Thank you again for all your emails, texts and phone calls. Sara will love to read/hear them when she wakes up.

love to you all,

Brian

Meal Calendar

Hi again. Laurie has put together the amazing meal calendar. Here's the link:

www.takethemameal.com/meals.php?t=BDCW4656

Or, if the link doesn't work, you can go to www.takethemameal.com and enter:

Last Name: Lewis
Password: 8200

We only planned the calendar for the next 30 days, but we'll be adding more dates once we get a better handle on things.

Thanks again!
Brian and Sara

Here We Go

Hi everyone. This is our new (first . . . only . . .) blog. Never in a million years could we have imagined creating such a thing to disseminate information about our lives, but things have dramatically changed and we think it will be easier to post things here to keep everyone up-to-date.

First, Sara and I want to thank you all for . . . EVERYTHING. Sara's diagnosis blindsided us and within hours you all started circling the wagons. Your emails, calls, texts, cards, flowers, donations to the 3-Day walk, and offers to help are all amazing. We cannot adequately express how thankful we are to have everyone pulling for us. We are humbled by your love and we'll continue take all we can get!

Sara's surgery is scheduled for Monday, May 24 at 11:15 a.m. We've assembled an incredible team of doctors to take care of her. We did all our research and footwork and feel like we've got the best people in place. We'll probably be in the hospital until Wednesday and then head home for a few weeks of recovery. As of now, Sara's chemo will likely begin in mid-June.

All of you have asked what you can do to help. One of our new friends (who went through this herself and now has a beautiful six-month old baby to show for it!) told us that she set up an on-line calendar where her family and friends could sign up to bring over a meal or two. We think that's a great idea, especially during the weeks that are going to be the hardest for us. Our friend Laurie has generously offered to host the calendar for us and I will post a link here in the next few days so you can have access. I'll also provide Laurie's email address in case you have any questions about it. This will be a huge help and we look forward to whatever you cook or order out for us. Sara's eating for two so we need to fatten her up!

Ok, that's it for now. Again, THANK YOU for being so wonderful and supportive. We are starting on a long journey and despite all the unknown, we absolutely know we couldn't do it without you.

All our love,
Brian and Sara (and Margo, of course)