Cancer Free!

Monday started off being a rough day. Now that she's finished with chemo, Sara's oncologist ordered CT scans of her chest and abdomen to make sure the cancer is gone. When we arrived at the hospital, I noticed that everything about the radiology department seemed dark -- the lights in the waiting room were dim and the nurses' scrubs were gray. I sat in an uncomfortable chair outside of the women's dressing room as Sara disappeared behind the door to disrobe, put on a (dark colored) hospital gown, and headed back to the scanner. I pretended that I wasn't worried, but I was. Sara pretended too. A half hour later Sara returned, dressed and ready to go. Quickly. We had to get out of there.

Several agonizing hours later, I arrived home from work to find my girls playing in the kitchen. Sara was obviously trying to stay occupied. We didn't mention what was on our minds. No word yet from the doctor.

And then we saw the red light blinking on the answering machine. Sara missed the call a half hour earlier. Before I could even process the enormity of what we were about to hear, Sara hit the button and we heard the best news any family touched by cancer could hear -- "It's Dr. Merkel. Good news. The scans are perfectly clean. Have a good night." Oh. My. God.

Sara shrieked. I screamed. We both lost it and cried. Big tears of relief and joy. Awesome!

So now Sara awaits her reconstructive surgery tomorrow (Dec 23) and the radiation that will start in January. She is excited, energized and ready to move on.

I read a quote somewhere that "Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference." I believe in the deepest place in my heart that Sara's positive outlook throughout this whole ride allowed us to get to this point where she is cancer free! Way to go, honey! And thank you.

Happy and healthy new year to everyone.

Brian

P.S. The picture above is the cover of the Kellogg Cancer Center's 2010 Annual Report. My beautiful wife is on the cover! If that's not inspirational, I don't know what is!

Last Day of Chemo!

Well, she did it! Today, Sara made it through her final chemo infusion. I am so proud of her. Our feelings can be summed up by the words on her celebratory cake (see photo). This has been the most difficult time in our lives, and there's still a long way to go, but today was a huge milestone. Sara has kept plugging along, even when she didn't feel like it. It took incredible strength to admit, from time to time, that she couldn't put on the happy face we're all so accustomed to seeing, and instead hide in our bed under the blanket. She has shown us all a bravery that we can't completely understand, yet leaves us in awe. You are amazing, Sara. You're an inspiration to us all.

We stood today in the treatment room at the Kellogg Cancer Center looking out the window at the snow on the trees. We both got choked up at where we are, and where we've been. Back in June, we walked into that same treatment room and looked out that same window and cried because we were beginning the chemo journey. We were so scared. It was extremely emotional and daunting with the first infusion about to begin. Today, it was equally emotional, albeit more positive, because the final infusion was over and this chapter is now closed. We hugged, took a deep breath, and walked out together holding hands. We went out for a special lunch and talked for two hours with no distractions. As Sara so aptly put it, it was "incredibly indulgent." Well, honey, you deserve it, and SO much more! Today was just the beginning of all good things to come!

The ride continues later this month (on December 23rd) when Sara will have her reconstructive surgery. She'll take it easy through the New Year and in early January will begin radiation. Step by step. That's the only way we can do it.

To our families and friends who have helped us get this far, we love you more than words can express. Please don't stop what you're doing because it's perfect. To Sara's talented nurses and doctors, thank you for being so smart, dedicated, and compassionate. You have made the surgeries, infusions and tests bearable and you helped us survive. We have known since the beginning that we were in the best hands.

I'll update again after Sara's surgery later this month. Until then, keep toasting to good health enjoy every minute of life.

Brian