Cancer Free!

Monday started off being a rough day. Now that she's finished with chemo, Sara's oncologist ordered CT scans of her chest and abdomen to make sure the cancer is gone. When we arrived at the hospital, I noticed that everything about the radiology department seemed dark -- the lights in the waiting room were dim and the nurses' scrubs were gray. I sat in an uncomfortable chair outside of the women's dressing room as Sara disappeared behind the door to disrobe, put on a (dark colored) hospital gown, and headed back to the scanner. I pretended that I wasn't worried, but I was. Sara pretended too. A half hour later Sara returned, dressed and ready to go. Quickly. We had to get out of there.

Several agonizing hours later, I arrived home from work to find my girls playing in the kitchen. Sara was obviously trying to stay occupied. We didn't mention what was on our minds. No word yet from the doctor.

And then we saw the red light blinking on the answering machine. Sara missed the call a half hour earlier. Before I could even process the enormity of what we were about to hear, Sara hit the button and we heard the best news any family touched by cancer could hear -- "It's Dr. Merkel. Good news. The scans are perfectly clean. Have a good night." Oh. My. God.

Sara shrieked. I screamed. We both lost it and cried. Big tears of relief and joy. Awesome!

So now Sara awaits her reconstructive surgery tomorrow (Dec 23) and the radiation that will start in January. She is excited, energized and ready to move on.

I read a quote somewhere that "Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference." I believe in the deepest place in my heart that Sara's positive outlook throughout this whole ride allowed us to get to this point where she is cancer free! Way to go, honey! And thank you.

Happy and healthy new year to everyone.

Brian

P.S. The picture above is the cover of the Kellogg Cancer Center's 2010 Annual Report. My beautiful wife is on the cover! If that's not inspirational, I don't know what is!

Last Day of Chemo!

Well, she did it! Today, Sara made it through her final chemo infusion. I am so proud of her. Our feelings can be summed up by the words on her celebratory cake (see photo). This has been the most difficult time in our lives, and there's still a long way to go, but today was a huge milestone. Sara has kept plugging along, even when she didn't feel like it. It took incredible strength to admit, from time to time, that she couldn't put on the happy face we're all so accustomed to seeing, and instead hide in our bed under the blanket. She has shown us all a bravery that we can't completely understand, yet leaves us in awe. You are amazing, Sara. You're an inspiration to us all.

We stood today in the treatment room at the Kellogg Cancer Center looking out the window at the snow on the trees. We both got choked up at where we are, and where we've been. Back in June, we walked into that same treatment room and looked out that same window and cried because we were beginning the chemo journey. We were so scared. It was extremely emotional and daunting with the first infusion about to begin. Today, it was equally emotional, albeit more positive, because the final infusion was over and this chapter is now closed. We hugged, took a deep breath, and walked out together holding hands. We went out for a special lunch and talked for two hours with no distractions. As Sara so aptly put it, it was "incredibly indulgent." Well, honey, you deserve it, and SO much more! Today was just the beginning of all good things to come!

The ride continues later this month (on December 23rd) when Sara will have her reconstructive surgery. She'll take it easy through the New Year and in early January will begin radiation. Step by step. That's the only way we can do it.

To our families and friends who have helped us get this far, we love you more than words can express. Please don't stop what you're doing because it's perfect. To Sara's talented nurses and doctors, thank you for being so smart, dedicated, and compassionate. You have made the surgeries, infusions and tests bearable and you helped us survive. We have known since the beginning that we were in the best hands.

I'll update again after Sara's surgery later this month. Until then, keep toasting to good health enjoy every minute of life.

Brian

November 2010 Update

Hello everyone. It's been a while since I've updated "Supporting Sara" and now just seems like a good time to do so. After a few rough weeks with Sara's chemo, we got some (much needed) good news yesterday when Sara's blood counts normalized. Not to brag or anything, but after getting shots three days in a row my wife's white blood cell counts might be better than all of ours combined! (I did marry her for her neutrophils, ya know). She needed the shots because her white count dropped extremely low. In fact, the oncologist sent Sara to the emergency room last Monday night after she spiked a fever. We spent (a lovely) 5 hours at the hospital while Sara got an IV antibiotic infusion. Thank god Nana and Aunt Kitty were at home with the girls so we could strictly focus on Sara.

Speaking of our support network, we cannot thank everyone enough for all you are doing. For fear of inadvertently leaving anyone out, I won't single you out. Please just know that Sara and I know how fortunate we are to have such incredible family and friends who watch out for us and take care of us.

So the plan now is for Sara to resume her weekly chemo sessions. She's got seven left and hopefully she won't have to take any more breaks. After that, she'll have her reconstruction surgery (swap out the tissue expanders for real implants). Radiation will follow. It seems like a lot -- because it is -- but Sara has come so far. We're closer to the end of treatment than the beginning, so we try to focus on that.

Liza and Margo are doing great! Margo loves being a big sister and wants to help with Liza all the time. Liza is starting to sleep a little bit more (as of one week ago), but she still gets up every three or four hours. Caffeine is certainly our best friend these days! (On a recent trip to the grocery store I actually bought 6 bags of coffee and nothing else. I got some strange looks, for sure).

Ok, that's it for now. I'll try to update again in a few weeks as we get even closer to the end of treatment . . . and the big celebration that will follow.

Brian

The Baby's Here!

We are so proud to introduce everyone to the newest member of our family -- Liza Kate Lewis was born last night at 6:57 weighing 5 lbs 7 oz and stretching 18.5 inches. She's such a little peanut. And she's perfectly HEALTHY! Sara feels strong and is doing great. I'm so thankful that my girls are ok and that our family is complete. Wow.

Liza gets her middle name from my dad's mom, Kate Lewis. My grandma was so strong and truly was the matriarch of the Lewis family. She took care of everyone(grandchildren, cousins, etc.) and always made sure that we were ok. Liza started making sure Sara was ok long before yesterday. This pregnancy brought Sara's cancer out to a place where it could be found early. Then, Liza made it through some tough weeks when Sara started her chemo. Despite all that, she literally came into this world smiling. "Kate" just seems like the perfect middle name for the little baby who watched out for her mommy before coming into this world, was strong enough to endure a tough pregnancy, and smiled when we met her.

Thank you to all of you for helping us get this far. Your support, well-wishes and love gave us the additional strength we genuinely needed. Sara's battle is not over, obviously, but we know she'll be ok. We'll just tackle the remaining 5 months of treatment as we did the past 3. The only difference is that we're now a family of four!

The baby turned!!!

No more breech! Thank god!

Closing Ceremonies of Susan G. Komen 3-Day Walk

Sara and I talked tonight about the good things that happened to us this summer. We were able to come up with several without much effort. Despite all that's happened, there we were standing in the kitchen smiling as we remembered the happy times from the last few months. While this wouldn't be a summer to repeat if we had the choice, we did actually manage to enjoy ourselves. Pretty cool.

At the top of the list was the Susan G. Komen 3-Day Walk. The whole weekend -- from the opening ceremonies, to my 16 mile walk with Deborah on Saturday, to the closing ceremonies at Soldier Field on Sunday -- was emotional and inspiring. The weekend was a big milestone for us and now that it is over, we can begin focusing on the home stretch.

Just briefly, Sunday's experience was very special. We changed into our pink shirts and filled the car with our signs and other gear. As we got close to Soldier Field we saw the line of walkers getting close to the finish line. (Kleenex moment #1). After we parked, we saw hundreds of people waiting on the lawn for the ceremony to begin. Families were having picnics, listening to music, and clapping for the walkers. Everyone was waiting for, among other things, the big moment the walkers would approach the stage and hold up a shoe to salute the brave people fighting breast cancer. (Kleenex moment #2). Then we saw Deborah. I can't adequately put into words what I felt when she embraced Sara and Margo, so let's just call that Kleenex moments #3 through #100!

Eventually it came time for Sara to walk out on stage with Deborah. I saw them holding hands and crying. Then I heard Margo atop my shoulders say, "There's mommy!" I went numb. That was the moment when this event, Sara's battle, and the love all around us broke me. Everything went silent for (what felt like) a minute as I thought about the enormity of what we've been through and how thankful I am to have my two smiling girls with me. The adrenaline of that moment was the most intense I've ever felt. I flipped Margo off my shoulders and gave her an enormous bear hug. I'm surprised I didn't crush her! I engulfed Sara with a similar hug when she returned from the stage. I hope these pictures that I've attached give you a sense of the emotion from that amazing day.

And now we can strictly focus on the baby for the next few weeks. The induction has been changed to August 23. Everything's fine -- the doctors just don't think we should wait that extra week. Sara's fourth round of chemo (which was supposed to be today) was postponed so that she can be strong on the 23rd (and before). The baby can come at any point now, so we are packing Sara's bag tonight and putting it by the door. (Doesn't that just conjure up the image of 70's sitcoms where the very pregnant wife wakes her husband asking for water and before she can ask he's out the door in his boxers, suitcase in hand, wife at home getting her own water?!). Yep, that'll be me.

Anyway, hopefully my next post will be from the hospital on the 23rd. With any luck I'll be wearing more than just my boxers.

Brian

Kick Off of The 3-Day Cancer Walk

This morning was amazing. Incredibly emotional. We got out of bed at 5:30, woke Margo and headed over to Northbrook Court for the opening ceremonies of the 3 Day Cancer Walk. Several thousand walkers and supporters were already there. We were completely blown away. Our families and some special friends were also there waiting to hug, kiss and support us. I can't adequately express the flood of emotions that overwhelmed us at that moment. I've even got tears in my eyes right now as I look at the pictures and write this post.

Our cousin Deborah (hugging Sara and Margo in the picture) is officially the highest fundraiser for the Chicago Walk. She raised just over $25,000 with all of your help. (I know we've said it so many times but again, THANK YOU!). To recognize that accomplishment the Walk organizers asked her to carry the "Friendship" flag today and on Sunday during the closing ceremonies. She will also get to sleep in the "fancy" New Balance tent tonight and tomorrow at the campground. (She'll have an air mattress, pillow and a light -- never before did that seem "first class" but for this 60-mile walk, it certainly is!).

We'll stop at a cheering station later this morning to see Deborah and tomorrow I'll be meeting up with her to walk 15 miles (just like our training session a few weeks ago). On Sunday a big contingent of the Lewis and Fishman clans (and friends) will go to Soldier Field at 4:30 to watch the walkers enter the stadium and achieve their goal. We'll also cheer for Sara who will be up on stage fulfilling one of her many goals -- successfully fighting this disease while growing our baby! If anyone wants to come along, we'd absolutely love it. It will, without a doubt, be an emotionally-inspiring afternoon.

After the weekend we'll be one step closer to baby! Oh, speaking of the baby, you can mark your calendars for August 30! That's the date the doctors will induce. And by the way, if you can think of good-luck tricks (knocking on wood, rubbing two sticks together, throwing salt over your shoulder, etc.) that might encourage the baby to turn around from the breech position in the next 3 weeks, go ahead and do them. We'll take any help we can get at this point!

That's it for now. I'll post again over the weekend.

xoxo,
Brian